Some things I have learned

I was reading in my journal the other day. I would like to share one of my entries. May 22, 2008 How often the word “Why?” has been emitted from my thoughts or mind yet the answer eludes me time and time again until a moment way down in time I understand the why. Often our prayers seem to be unheard and I stumble groping for peace, hope, or assurance that I am headed in the right way. I was contemplating several of the 'whys' in my life and realized if it weren’t for these ‘whys’ I wouldn’t know love, the kind that is eternal. I wouldn’t know joy, the kind that can come from being a mom and a wife. I wouldn’t know deep anguishing pain or sorrow for those you truly care about. I wouldn’t know anger, happiness, misery, forgiveness both being able to be forgiven and for being forgiving when someone has hurt you deeply. I wouldn’t have known laughter, the kind that makes your heart soar. I wouldn’t know misery and unconditional love, the kind that keeps on giving even when you don’t deserve it. I wouldn’t know peace, the kind that comes from knowing who you are. I wouldn’t know kindness, thankfulness and gratitude. I wouldn’t have courage to face each new trial. I wouldn’t have wisdom beyond my earthly capabilities. Yes, the ‘whys’ may be painful but they are what has shaped the woman I have become.